And on Twitter. That’ll help me catch birds, right?
@CatomicTheory on both platforms.
https://www.instagram.com/catomictheory/
Fred, I’m on Instagram Now
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Tag Archives: humour
Well, shucks.
It appears, Fred, that I am stuck.
Game of Meows
Dear Fred. I ruled Westeros today. I let Luna take a two minute swig at it, too, but I’ve been sleeping on the Iron Throne the whole day to establish my dominance.
The White Neck Thing
Dear Fred,
I talked about the white thing that my human put around my neck earlier this year. Let me share more of the torture she put me through.
First, she wouldn’t let me out of the carrier cars, even though I love to explore the interior of the car when we’re driving.
Then, this happened.
A lot.
High Blade and His Tongue
Blade’s teeth were disgusting so the human had them cleaned. She had mine cleaned too, probably just because she’s vindictive — I’m sure mine were perfectly fine.
This was taken from the vet’s Facebook page. Blade had to have a sleeping potion before they cleaned his teeth and the result was his tongue permanently sticking out.
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And once he was revived, he flopped around like a seal.
Poor chap. See what we have to endure at the hands of our human? I should vomit next to her bed. That’ll show her.
A Tale of a White Thing, my Ex-friend Twine, and an Irritating Rat
Dear Fred,
My human has gone and done it again. We have had a crazy few months.
First, she took me to the atrocious, stinky vet on February 14, 2017. I woke up feeling weird and with a big white thing on my neck that I tried very hard to take off. I was even successful a couple of times until my human tightened it with twine. (I thought twine and I were friends, but we’re definitely not anymore.)
I looked atrocious.
I couldn’t figure out how to walk. Naturally, Blade being afraid of literally everything new, was terrified of me. I don’t blame him, for once.
About a month after this thing that my human calls “spaying”, she comes home with the ugliest, most irritating rat I’ve ever seen. I was so pissed off. How could she try to replace me? I yelled at both my human and the rat for a week.
This was her first day in my territory. Look at that stupid smug face:
My human kept telling everyone that the new rat was being attacked by dogs and covered and shit when she was found. The new rat couldn’t walk very well, either. But I knew the truth: my human was trying to replace me with a younger ginger.
The rat has been named Luna. She and I fight a lot, mostly because she can’t seem to leave my tail alone.
Intruder Cat Hatred
FRED, I HATE OTHER CATS. Even Blade randomly pisses me off, though you know how much I love him. I enjoy bathing him because heaven knows he doesn’t do a good enough job by himself, but one paw out of line and I switch from grooming to smacking in an instant.
When intruders appear on the other side of the front screen door, I threaten them loudly enough for the world to hear. One such intruder appeared recently, and I even chased after the idiot.
Human edit: Arya went running into an adjacent room, thinking she was following the outside cat who had run off to the right. What a derp. The video starts as she returns, realising her mistake. Blade continues to complain about the intruder very loudly to me.
The Box in a Box Acquisition
Dear Fred,
I found a box in a box. Yes, you heard me correctly. A bloody box in a box.
Naturally, I claimed it.
Sod off, Blade.
Fresh Food
Fred,
My human tried pushing an already filled bowl of food towards me today. Who does she think I am, giving me food that’s out already! I demanded new food, insisted so hard for an hour, that she had to comply. She took out a new bowl, poured some food into it, and then presented it to me. Only then did I begin my breakfast.
Peekaboo
Fred, my human was worriedly looking for us because we were apparently “too quiet”.
She’s so overdramatic sometimes. All she needed to do was look up.
Catomic Theory 