High Blade and His Tongue

Blade’s teeth were disgusting so the human had them cleaned.  She had mine cleaned too, probably just because she’s vindictive — I’m sure mine were perfectly fine.

This was taken from the vet’s Facebook page.  Blade had to have a sleeping potion before they cleaned his teeth and the result was his tongue permanently sticking out.

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And once he was revived, he flopped around like a seal.

Poor chap. See what we have to endure at the hands of our human? I should vomit next to her bed. That’ll show her.

A Tale of a White Thing, my Ex-friend Twine, and an Irritating Rat

Dear Fred,

My human has gone and done it again. We have had a crazy few months.

First, she took me to the atrocious, stinky vet on February 14, 2017. I woke up feeling weird and with a big white thing on my neck that I tried very hard to take off. I was even successful a couple of times until my human tightened it with twine.  (I thought twine and I were friends, but we’re definitely not anymore.)

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I looked atrocious.

I couldn’t figure out how to walk.  Naturally, Blade being afraid of literally everything new, was terrified of me. I don’t blame him, for once.

About a month after this thing that my human calls “spaying”, she comes home with the ugliest, most irritating rat I’ve ever seen. I was so pissed off.  How could she try to replace me? I yelled at both my human and the rat for a week.

This was her first day in my territory. Look at that stupid smug face:

My human kept telling everyone that the new rat was being attacked by dogs and covered and shit when she was found.  The new rat couldn’t walk very well, either.  But I knew the truth: my human was trying to replace me with a younger ginger.

The rat has been named Luna.  She and I fight a lot, mostly because she can’t seem to leave my tail alone.

Intruder Cat Hatred

FRED, I HATE OTHER CATS.  Even Blade randomly pisses me off, though you know how much I love him.  I enjoy bathing him because heaven knows he doesn’t do a good enough job by himself, but one paw out of line and I switch from grooming to smacking in an instant.

When intruders appear on the other side of the front screen door, I threaten them loudly enough for the world to hear.  One such intruder appeared recently, and I even chased after the idiot.

Human edit: Arya went running into an adjacent room, thinking she was following the outside cat who had run off to the right. What a derp. The video starts as she returns, realising her mistake. Blade continues to complain about the intruder very loudly to me.