High Blade and His Tongue

Blade’s teeth were disgusting so the human had them cleaned.  She had mine cleaned too, probably just because she’s vindictive — I’m sure mine were perfectly fine.

This was taken from the vet’s Facebook page.  Blade had to have a sleeping potion before they cleaned his teeth and the result was his tongue permanently sticking out.

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And once he was revived, he flopped around like a seal.

Poor chap. See what we have to endure at the hands of our human? I should vomit next to her bed. That’ll show her.

A Tale of a White Thing, my Ex-friend Twine, and an Irritating Rat

Dear Fred,

My human has gone and done it again. We have had a crazy few months.

First, she took me to the atrocious, stinky vet on February 14, 2017. I woke up feeling weird and with a big white thing on my neck that I tried very hard to take off. I was even successful a couple of times until my human tightened it with twine.  (I thought twine and I were friends, but we’re definitely not anymore.)

dav

dav

I looked atrocious.

I couldn’t figure out how to walk.  Naturally, Blade being afraid of literally everything new, was terrified of me. I don’t blame him, for once.

About a month after this thing that my human calls “spaying”, she comes home with the ugliest, most irritating rat I’ve ever seen. I was so pissed off.  How could she try to replace me? I yelled at both my human and the rat for a week.

This was her first day in my territory. Look at that stupid smug face:

My human kept telling everyone that the new rat was being attacked by dogs and covered and shit when she was found.  The new rat couldn’t walk very well, either.  But I knew the truth: my human was trying to replace me with a younger ginger.

The rat has been named Luna.  She and I fight a lot, mostly because she can’t seem to leave my tail alone.

Fresh Food

Fred,

My human tried pushing an already filled bowl of food towards me today. Who does she think I am, giving me food that’s out already!  I demanded new food, insisted so hard for an hour, that she had to comply.  She took out a new bowl, poured some food into it, and then presented it to me.  Only then did I begin my breakfast.

dav