The White Neck Thing

Dear Fred,

I talked about the white thing that my human put around my neck earlier this year. Let me share more of the torture she put me through.

First, she wouldn’t let me out of the carrier cars, even though I love to explore the interior of the car when we’re driving.

Then, this happened.

A lot.

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High Blade and His Tongue

Blade’s teeth were disgusting so the human had them cleaned.  She had mine cleaned too, probably just because she’s vindictive — I’m sure mine were perfectly fine.

This was taken from the vet’s Facebook page.  Blade had to have a sleeping potion before they cleaned his teeth and the result was his tongue permanently sticking out.

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And once he was revived, he flopped around like a seal.

Poor chap. See what we have to endure at the hands of our human? I should vomit next to her bed. That’ll show her.

A Tale of a White Thing, my Ex-friend Twine, and an Irritating Rat

Dear Fred,

My human has gone and done it again. We have had a crazy few months.

First, she took me to the atrocious, stinky vet on February 14, 2017. I woke up feeling weird and with a big white thing on my neck that I tried very hard to take off. I was even successful a couple of times until my human tightened it with twine.  (I thought twine and I were friends, but we’re definitely not anymore.)

dav

dav

I looked atrocious.

I couldn’t figure out how to walk.  Naturally, Blade being afraid of literally everything new, was terrified of me. I don’t blame him, for once.

About a month after this thing that my human calls “spaying”, she comes home with the ugliest, most irritating rat I’ve ever seen. I was so pissed off.  How could she try to replace me? I yelled at both my human and the rat for a week.

This was her first day in my territory. Look at that stupid smug face:

My human kept telling everyone that the new rat was being attacked by dogs and covered and shit when she was found.  The new rat couldn’t walk very well, either.  But I knew the truth: my human was trying to replace me with a younger ginger.

The rat has been named Luna.  She and I fight a lot, mostly because she can’t seem to leave my tail alone.

Fresh Food

Fred,

My human tried pushing an already filled bowl of food towards me today. Who does she think I am, giving me food that’s out already!  I demanded new food, insisted so hard for an hour, that she had to comply.  She took out a new bowl, poured some food into it, and then presented it to me.  Only then did I begin my breakfast.

dav