My Human Sucks

Dear Fred,

It has been AGES since we last spoke.  Blame my human.  Ever since she claimed I deleted “an important paper” on stupid Laptop by napping on it, she hasn’t let me touch this thing.  I don’t know why she blames me and not him. I nap on him to keep him in line. Why won’t she understand that I’m just looking out for her??

Anyway, how have you been?  Just kidding. I don’t really care. Unless it involves cardboard boxes.  I always care about cardboard boxes.

What’s more important is this selfie I’ve taken of Blade and me.  Don’t we look fabulous?

2015-01-05 14.09.50

And here’s a little something I snuck when he was feeling cold. In the winter. Yes, months ago cuz my human is a rotten pigeon:

2015-01-14 14.37.46 HDR

Blade looks much better in the selfie than what he did on his birthday, March 24.  He turned one, and my human put something on him.  He didn’t know how to react:


I need to teach my human a lesson. Any ideas?