High Blade and His Tongue

Blade’s teeth were disgusting so the human had them cleaned.  She had mine cleaned too, probably just because she’s vindictive — I’m sure mine were perfectly fine.

This was taken from the vet’s Facebook page.  Blade had to have a sleeping potion before they cleaned his teeth and the result was his tongue permanently sticking out.

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And once he was revived, he flopped around like a seal.

Poor chap. See what we have to endure at the hands of our human? I should vomit next to her bed. That’ll show her.


My Human Sucks

Dear Fred,

It has been AGES since we last spoke.  Blame my human.  Ever since she claimed I deleted “an important paper” on stupid Laptop by napping on it, she hasn’t let me touch this thing.  I don’t know why she blames me and not him. I nap on him to keep him in line. Why won’t she understand that I’m just looking out for her??

Anyway, how have you been?  Just kidding. I don’t really care. Unless it involves cardboard boxes.  I always care about cardboard boxes.

What’s more important is this selfie I’ve taken of Blade and me.  Don’t we look fabulous?

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And here’s a little something I snuck when he was feeling cold. In the winter. Yes, months ago cuz my human is a rotten pigeon:

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Blade looks much better in the selfie than what he did on his birthday, March 24.  He turned one, and my human put something on him.  He didn’t know how to react:


I need to teach my human a lesson. Any ideas?