My human has gone and done it again. We have had a crazy few months.
First, she took me to the atrocious, stinky vet on February 14, 2017. I woke up feeling weird and with a big white thing on my neck that I tried very hard to take off. I was even successful a couple of times until my human tightened it with twine. (I thought twine and I were friends, but we’re definitely not anymore.)
I looked atrocious.
I couldn’t figure out how to walk. Naturally, Blade being afraid of literally everything new, was terrified of me. I don’t blame him, for once.
About a month after this thing that my human calls “spaying”, she comes home with the ugliest, most irritating rat I’ve ever seen. I was so pissed off. How could she try to replace me? I yelled at both my human and the rat for a week.
This was her first day in my territory. Look at that stupid smug face:
My human kept telling everyone that the new rat was being attacked by dogs and covered and shit when she was found. The new rat couldn’t walk very well, either. But I knew the truth: my human was trying to replace me with a younger ginger.
The rat has been named Luna. She and I fight a lot, mostly because she can’t seem to leave my tail alone.
In case you didn’t know, whispering “wishy washy” is just about the scariest thing in the world.
Human edit: There was a time when Blade was a kitten and I tried whistling around them for the first time. Arya ended up turning into Mr. Hide, yowled and bitch-slapped him. He was so confused. I don’t know why that happened.
FRED, I HATE OTHER CATS. Even Blade randomly pisses me off, though you know how much I love him. I enjoy bathing him because heaven knows he doesn’t do a good enough job by himself, but one paw out of line and I switch from grooming to smacking in an instant.
When intruders appear on the other side of the front screen door, I threaten them loudly enough for the world to hear. One such intruder appeared recently, and I even chased after the idiot.
Human edit: Arya went running into an adjacent room, thinking she was following the outside cat who had run off to the right. What a derp. The video starts as she returns, realising her mistake. Blade continues to complain about the intruder very loudly to me.