Dear Fred (Wait, can I call you Fred? I think I’m going to call you Fred.),
Hello. Have a picture:
I’m Arya. Arya Tempus. That’s the name my human gave me two weeks ago, when the vet told her I am a girl. The day before, she called me ‘Tyrion’. Ha. Like I could ever be a boy. So, yeah, she’s a little slow. But when I talk (and I talk constantly because my voice is fabulous), she listens. And when I nibble on her arm, she tastes like textbooks and pens, and sometimes like tuna if I’m lucky enough to catch her after she’s touched my food. So she’s not all that bad.
I think I’m going to keep her.